You MIGHT be an artist...

If you've ever cleaned your fingernails with a palette knife--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you choose a wine with an eye toward using the bottle in your next still-life--you MIGHT be an artist.

If your idea of losing weight is to paint a thinner self-portrait--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you've ever rinsed your watercolor brush in your coffee--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you didn't realize it until you noticed the taste--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you thought it improved the taste--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you thought it improved the painting--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you've ever drunk the rinse water instead of the coffee--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you've ever considered framing your palette instead of the painting--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you've ever painted an abstract and decided it looked better upside down--you MIGHT be an artist.

If your cat has chrome oxide green paws--you MIGHT be an artist.

If the paintings in your attic start looking better than the one on your easel--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you've changed your painting signature more than five times in one year--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you've ever cleaned the toilet rather than start a new painting--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you've ever touched up a painting with WhiteOut--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you've ever gotten cookie crumbs in the Titanium white--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you can spell phthalocyanine, you MIGHT be an artist.

If you've ever scrubbed a hole in a watercolor--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you've ever accidentally mixed oils and acrylics--you MIGHT be an artist.
by Jim Lane 18 October 1998


Family Tree of Vincent Van Gogh

His dizzy aunt ----------- Verti Gogh

The brother who ate lots of prunes -------- Gotta Gogh

The brother who worked at a convenience store-------- Stop n Gogh

The grandfather from Yugoslavia ------U Gogh

The cousin from Illinois ------Chica Gogh

His magician uncle -----Where-diddy Gogh

His Mexican cousin --------A-mee Gogh

The Mexican cousin's American half-brother ----- Gring Gogh

The nephew who drove a stage coach------- Wells-far Gogh

The constipated uncle -------Can't Gogh

The ballroom dancing aunt ----- Tang Gogh

The bird lover uncle ---------Fla min Gogh

The fruit loving cousin --------Man Gogh

An aunt who taught positive thinking ------Way-to-Gogh

The little bouncy nephew -----Poe Gogh

A sister who loved disco ------Go Gogh

His niece who travels the country in an RV ------Winnie Bay Gogh

His nephew the bouncer------Out U Gogh

2nd cousin, draft dodger------Don't Wanna Gogh

The Twins that invented GPS------------How To Gogh & Where To Gogh

His great Uncle that made ExLax-----Makes U Gogh

The stevedore nephew-----------Car Gogh

The vegetable farmer--------Rutabay-Gogh

The boastful politician---------E-Gogh

The dyslexic sports fan-------Gogh Yankees

 

 



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